When the Phone Stops Ringing! A Lesson About Status from a Great Leader

Status is a force that, good or bad, motivates people to act. Airlines have the system down to a science. People spend hundreds of thousands of dollars so that they have some status. That status may allow them to board the plane first, or gives them access to the airline’s club, or allows them to choose preferred seating, or the even possibility of getting the coveted upgrade! When it came to maintaining his airline status, one traveler described himself as a hamster on a running wheel. He lamented, “you can never stop!”

In researching social inequality, Anderson and Hildreth of Berkley University explored the issues of status and why people have a sincere desire for it. The researchers found that most people consider the old saying to be true: “it’s better to be a big fish in a little pond than a little fish in a big pond.” Why is that? Because status makes people feel better. But although status may make us feel better, how do we feel when we don’t have status or worse, when we no longer have status?

I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon with a leader who was influential and well known. He was booked three years in advance for worldwide speaking engagements. He had written books and articles; he was on television, radio, and YouTube. He was leading a large organization that was on the cutting edge and was growing rapidly. A few months before he came for a conference in Europe, he announced his retirement.

As we walked together on the cobblestone streets of Austria, we talked about ministry and life, he was engaging and kind.

During one short walk between shops, he paused, raised his finger, squinted his right eye while turning his head as if to listen for a faint sound in the distance. Then he asked me, “Do you hear that?” I paused for a moment. “Do you mean those birds chirping?” He said, “No. Listen! Do you hear that?” I said, “No, I don’t.” Then he chuckled and said, “Neither do I!”

He explained: “There was a time when my phone rang all day. People called me for advice; they called me to solve problems, they called me to engage with them about how to grow their organizations. They wanted my opinion and wisdom. And now, the phone doesn’t ring.”

Then he said something that I can’t and won’t forget. “Remember Jim, when the phone stops ringing, life doesn’t stop.”

Very seldom does a moment of realization sink so deeply into one’s soul that it causes one to change not only their thinking but their approach to leadership and life. Of course, his phone didn’t completely stop ringing; he continues to speak and travel. What he was doing was handing me a gift—a lesson in leadership and life. And what was that lesson? As important as status is, relationships are what sustain us through all of life, even after the phone stops ringing! It’s something to think about!

Anderson, C, and J Hildreth. “Striving for Superiority: The Human Desire for Status”.” IRLE Working Paper (2016): 115-116.